Experts in digital parenting and adolescent development advise combining technical settings on smartphones with ongoing, frank family conversations about safe phone and internet use. This applies above all to teenagers aged 16–17, whose parents usually give them more freedom with gadgets.
Digital coach Sarah Werle Kimmel points out that at this age it is worth gradually easing control, since in adult life young people will be making their own decisions about their online behaviour.
Cognitive specialist Bea Moise recommends that parents closely observe how their teenager uses their phone and give feedback based on their own experience. For example, if a child spends the whole weekend watching videos and then feels exhausted, it is worth gently describing this situation and sharing your own ways of restoring balance between rest and screen time.
Although older teenagers are generally able to use technology more responsibly, self-regulation often remains a challenge for them. Specialists recommend setting clear time limits on gadget use: for instance, allowing the phone only after getting ready for school in the morning, and in the evening — after completing household responsibilities and up until an agreed bedtime.
Digital wellbeing researcher Dr Emily Weinstein advises against focusing solely on the negative in conversations about internet safety. Parents are encouraged to ask teenagers what they themselves like about their own digital habits in order to highlight and support constructive practices.
Experts also pay particular attention to teenagers’ ability to recognise design features in apps and games that are specifically intended to hold their attention and prompt them to check their phone constantly. Adults are advised to demonstrate by example how they themselves switch off unnecessary notifications so they can focus on conversation or offline tasks.
Another tool is personal “digital challenges”. Teenagers are encouraged to identify their own problematic habits (for example, staying up late glued to their phone or compulsively checking other people’s accounts) and turn them into goals for themselves. This might mean replacing late-night scrolling with a sleep meditation, or going for a morning run instead of reaching straight for the smartphone.
In Weinstein’s view, when discussing teenagers’ digital lives, parents should set aside assumptions and ask more questions. This “ask, don’t assume” approach helps them better understand what exactly is difficult for the child online and, conversely, what works well and supports their wellbeing.